Espérances

When I was twelve, I wondered what my life would be like aged eighteen.
I used to wonder who, where, and what I would be.
As expected, eighteen did not live up to expectations.
I have lost contact with 98% of the people I spent the last five years with.
My best friend cut me off, lied to me, and stabbed me in the back.
I suffered from mild depression and still have severe anxiety.
I have a psychologist, and am on anti-depressants.
All of this pushed my first real relationship to the brink of destruction countless times.
I didn't have an 18th because I didn't have enough friends to make it worthwhile.
I didn't get a TER, so am unable to study at university.
I don't have a job.
I can't drive.
I still can't ride a bike.

But, I haven't felt this good in a long time.
I love and appreciate my family more than ever.
My boyfriend has been with me for the toughest year of my life, and I am still crazy in love with him.
I get to study at the coolest building in Adelaide.
I come home covered in clay, paint and charcoal four days a week.
I've met some of the most awesome people, and finally know what a true friend is.
I've just inherited enough money to buy the camera and computer of my dreams.
I'm finally confident enough to dress and look how I want, currently sporting a red pixie cut.
I am not the person I wanted to be.
I am better.
I am finally myself.